Well, I’m alive. Thank goodness for that haha! I hope you all enjoyed this long ass update from the 2013 AVN Awards and Adult Entertainment Expo in one of my favorite cities, Las Vegas!
This whole week played out as a huge contradiction and a very valid lesson for me. Did I have fun? Yes. Did I love the fans and the expo with so many of my long time porn friends? Yes. Did I enjoy partying my ass off, consuming copious amounts of alcohol, staying up 72hrs with very minimal sleep and having wild sex orgies all week? YES! I always love seeing the fans and doing my networking. However good “old” Keni never stops until he drops, I fail miserably at moderation lol!
I had jumped right back into the deep hole of adult indulgence and sexual excess that I’ve enjoyed for so many years. With porn it always feels so good and so easy to slip right in and enjoy the life that many consider to be living “the dream”. This year feels different though, this time around I feel like I have a whole new perspective on this dream. While yes I did have fun and enjoyed the trip fully, I have definitely also paid the price with my health, body and soul.
Throughout 2012 I had lived so clean for so long, eating clean, only drinking alcohol (Guinness) rarely and smoking my organic bud. No drugs, no medicines, no crazy late nights or overly exhausting sex marathons. I even consciously attempted to minimize the number of sexual partners last year, choosing quality over quantity. I have been focused on my meditation, karma and energy work, animal-free dieting and further spiritual studies. Yes I have sex every day but not multiple times at work every day and orgies every night for a whole week haha, the dream of many men. Combine that with all the energy of running around on the ever tightening AVN press schedule.. this year really woke me up.
I got super sick with post-vegas flu and I’m still kinda am sniffling a bit. I felt my sexual energy drop off the chart for a few days and I completely lost all connection and motivation for my spiritual studies. The absence of meditation and the low vibration of illness always makes me feel less than alive and usually we ignore our inner selves and repeat the process every weekend. The toxic cocktail of excess, alcohol and sexual over exertion tipped my scales this year and instead of just shrugging it off like all the “manly” alpha males normally would, I decided to pay attention to my mind, body and soul.
I love Vegas, I really do. I love to go to shows and see all the talented entertainers spin, swing, enchant and hypnotize us. I love all the women, so many gorgeous women and so many people looking for and enjoying a good time. I love to meet new people and adventurers from all over the world visit Vegas year round. I’m seriously considering moving there, I now look at Vegas from a whole different perspective. It used to be the place I would go to really let loose, party hard and have fun. All with the intent to escape, however now I see there really is nothing to escape from beside my own choices. If I remove the party aspect what’s left? Well Vegas and I have so much more in common than I had ever expected. I always have loads of friends, work offers, new opportunities and adventures when I am in Vegas. I have a great base from where I plan to launch all my many journeys and most of all I have a lot of FUN.
So I think this year’s AVN week showed me a lot of things. It showed me that it’s no longer a question of can I live “the dream” cos I know can. I can drink, fuck and party my life and money away in this city just as it is perfectly designed to help me do. However I can also enjoy the finest foods, music and performance arts center of the world. I could train with circus athletes, enjoy meeting all these non-porn women and travelers and hey, if I wanna go party every now and then.. where else in the world would be a better place to be at home? Until I’m ready to go retire off on my desert island, for all the time I am still in the porn game and making money as an adult entertainer.. I think I have found my new resting place.
Thanks for watching this video blog of me doing what I always do and kicking my own ass out of vibration, waking myself up to the toxic damage of poisoning myself to sickness and in turn also realizing I am in love with Las Vegas. Thanks watchers and thanks as always, AVN for re-introducing me to this city every year.
Vegas can make you and break you, it can play you and you can play with all it has to offer and what a fucking awesome place to play!
To be continued..